Dream a Little Dream

Dreams. I have had a lot of dreams in my life, some realistic, some not so much. When I was young, I dreamt of becoming Miss America – hasn't happened yet! I dreamt of playing the piano – done! I dreamt of becoming a race car driver –​​ sadly, no! I dreamt of being a rock star while belting out Heart's "Barracuda" into my hairbrush in front of the mirror – again, no! I dreamt of marrying Andy Gibb … heartbreakingly, not meant to be! Dreaming of becoming a blogger – stay tuned!

No matter​​ how big or small my dreams, they all have at least a flicker of hope behind them. Some dreams I share with others and some I keep to myself. But what I have come to realize is that there are dreams I'm not even aware of, some of which have already been fulfilled.

I am reminded of the story of the prodigal son, which you can read in Luke 15:11-32.

There was a man whose younger son was restless and dreamt about all the things he thought he was missing out on and the fortune he thought he should already possess.

He asked his father for his inheritance then left for a distant country where he squandered his fortune on wild living. I'm sure he felt like he had never had such freedom and excitement. The party ended, however, when the land he had fled to fell into a severe famine. The place he had been so excited about had turned into a desperate, dark and desolate hole, where he had nothing. The things he had thought would bring him happiness had abandoned him and left him stranded in a strange and hopeless land. 

Completely destitute and hungry, he found a job slopping pigs, and soon began to dream of eating the food the swine were devouring.  Oh, how he missed the place he had been so determined to escape. It had actually been a place of comfort and plenty, a​​ sanctuary. He hadn't wanted for anything and he had the support of his loving father, which he failed to appreciate. Truthfully, he had already possessed it all, and now, he had less than nothing. Desperate and alone, he decided to go home, humble himself​​ before his father and beg for his forgiveness, hoping only for a position as one of his father’s servants, as they were living far better than he was.

So, he started the journey home with his tail between his legs. I imagine he was full of shame and kept rehearsing his speech to his father, fearing things could go very badly. ​​ However, his father saw him coming from a long way off (he obviously never stopped watching and waiting for his son’s return), and he ran out and wrapped him up in a big bear hug and commanded his servants to bring fine garments to put on his wayward son (I would imagine he could have used a good shower first, but … ). ​​ The beauty is that God takes us just like that … He doesn’t insist that we get cleaned up first, rather He just scoops us up and lavishes us with His wonderful treasures – relationship, unconditional love, and eternity with him in Heaven.

I have been out “there” - looking for something to fill the emptiness in my life, so sure it was somewhere else or with someone else. I can promise you, rock-bottom is a real place and it is no joke. Alone with nothing left and no hope, I continued to wander around rock-bottom searching for a way to​​ pull myself​​ out of that pit (I am just a tiny bit stubborn). The entire time I was searching, I​​ still felt the Holy Spirit stirring within me, calling me back to Jesus. And just like the prodigal son, I came to my senses and made the decision to return to the people who truly loved me and wanted the very best for​​ me. Most importantly, I ran into the arms of Jesus. I fell at His feet and confessed my sin. Instead of condemning or chastising me, He embraced me and lifted me up, dried my tears and restored me to a place of honor as His daughter. God was never frustrated or impatient. He waited and He loved me, continuing to watch over me as my vigilant Father. I came to understand that I had always been His, I had just taken a detour through a very bad part of town. But He watched over and protected me through it all,​​ not letting go of me for one second.

I began to realize that I had actually been running away from​​ God. I had felt He was withholding from me the things that would make me happy. I was sure I knew what I needed and could find it on my own. What a selfish​​ brat I was!​​ 

My precious family ended up being the lifeline God used to pull me out of the darkness, and only later did I realize my life had always been GOOD. I was raised by an amazing, loving family and was saved by Jesus! But I somehow thought it wasn't enough, that I deserved so much more.

In retrospect, rather than dreaming of truly greater things, my dreams had been too small. My focus was on the fulfillment of the desires of my flesh and the things I thought I needed to make me happy. I walked away from the best and perfect choice for me, and the entire time God had already provided a life for me full of richness and blessing beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Was giving up the reins and returning to that life an easy transition?​​ Absolutely not! But returning to the arms of my loving Father in obedience, gratitude and humility was and is the most excellent decision.

No matter the size of my dreams, good or bad, God knows the ones which are beneficial for me and which are​​ destructive. I have certainly made my share of foolish knee-jerk decisions, but God rescued me every time and continues to show me how He is working it all for good.​​ 

And we know that in all things God works 

for the good of those who love him, who have been called​​ 

according to his purpose.​​ 

(Romans 8:28)

One of the most valuable things I learned was a greater compassion for others.

Praise be to the God and Father of our

Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and​​ 

the God of all​​ comfort, who comforts us 

in all our troubles, so that we can​​ 

comfort those in any trouble with​​ 

the comfort we ourselves

​​ receive from God.​​ 

For just as we share abundantly in​​ 

the sufferings of Christ, so also our​​ 

comfort abounds through Christ.​​ 

(2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

God has a plan for my life, and promises it is good.​​ 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,​​ 

plans to give you hope and a future.”​​ 

(Jeremiah 29:11)

Any time I stop​​ trusting in His good plan, He allows me the freedom to do what I want, though I will have to face the consequences for my actions (and graciously, even then He doesn’t just abandon me to deal with them on my own). Rather, I hear Him patiently and gently (unlike the irritated voice of my GPS ) saying over and over again, "recalculating," as He transforms my wandering into a detour and reveals the on-ramp to return to the path laid out for me.

Dreaming is part of who I am, who all of us are, and will continue to be no matter my age (although I'm pretty sure the time for becoming Miss America has passed). Who knows what dreams I may have in the future? The focus of my dreams has changed from the ordinary to the extraordinary, from self-focused to kingdom-focused, recognizing that the day of Christ’s return is already determined and there is much more to be done before that day comes. ​​ But there is one dream I can guarantee will never change: I will still be dreaming of spending eternity with Jesus in Heaven.

If you find yourself wandering, please comment below so I can pray for you. His Word is the roadmap showing the way and His voice the GPS directing our steps. No matter the circumstances, I promise you are just taking a detour​​ (whether purposely or circumstantially) and God will show you the way to the on-ramp. Continue to listen for His voice … He will calmly and softly whisper “recalculating.” …