I can celebrate who God created me to be, relishing in Psalm 139:14 that says I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." I have come to embrace my quirkiness, enjoy my sense of humor (I think I'm hilarious), delight in the things that bring me joy, and laugh at the things that amuse me, including myself. I am thankful for the faith I have in God and my Lord Jesus Christ, the love I have for God's Word, the blessings of wisdom and discernment, the deep compassion I have for others, the fierce protection I feel for those I love, and the sweetness of sentimentality for things that touch me deeply.
I am also very introspective, which can be both a gift and a burden. God tells us to "love one another as we love ourselves" (Matthew 22:37-40) Self-love is demonstrated through confidence, strength, patience, etc. In contrast, pride, conceit, and self-hatred battle to destroy everything that is confident and strong within me. Deep self-examination can result in the awakening of fears, self-doubt, and perceived weaknesses/failures. A lot of factors play a role in directing my thoughts and how I process them. Sometimes they spur me on to seek change, but at other times they send me into a downward spiral of self-condemnation. The things God uses to draw me out of the dark places and back into His Light are numerous and often extraordinary.
Years ago, when I first heard the song "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence, I absolutely loved it; not only for the driving sound of the music, but even more so for the lyrics. I was struck by how spiritual they were, reflecting the life-giving love and reach of Jesus as I often longed to return to fellowship with Him.
I find myself all too often taking my eyes off Jesus as I am distracted by the things happening all around me, especially the things that are warring against my peace and fellowship with Jesus. I don't know about you, but I listen far too quickly to the negative self-talk that always stands at the ready to take over every part of me.
The enemy knows my weaknesses, especially the crushing self-doubt that has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I read and hear the truth of what God says about who I am in Him and the power and strength I possess because of His Spirit that lives within me. I fully believe in these truths, especially for everyone else, but somehow doubt them for myself and frequently fall prey to the lies that isolate me from all the promises of Jesus.
So, all those years ago, I could relate to the powerful lyrics and how often I cried out to God to draw me back to Him and bring me back to Life in Him. Little did I know that so many years later this would become a lifeline that would pull me out of the pit of self-doubt into which I had fallen. I believed the lies bombarding my mind, which I so often accepted as my own thoughts. The screams of the negative thoughts drowned out the still, small voice of God. My belief in the power of prayer and the wisdom found in God's Word was shaken by my crippling doubt and my focus on the circumstances around me.
I found myself in a dark place and just couldn't find my way out. I was crying out to God with a faith weakened by the combination of toxic thoughts and painful circumstances. As I worked in the silence afforded me as a massage therapist (a silence that is usually a welcome respite, at other times a mocking curse), I was praying when the song "Bring Me to Life" popped into my mind. I haven't heard or thought about that song in a long time and I heard the music before the lyrics came to mind. As the song played loudly in my head, I felt the presence of God and the Holy Spirit falling and surrounding me with a sense of peace and a renewed strength. To the very depths of my soul I felt His power awaken within me. The truth of God can definitely be found in anything and everything! I love the connection between the following lyrics and scripture:
Bring Me to Life (abbr.)
By Evanescence
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How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down, into my core
Where I've become so numb, without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:11-12
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Bid my blood to run
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:13
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Before I come undone
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17
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Save me from the nothing I've become
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
1 Cor 13:2
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Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Genesis 2:7
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Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
This is why it is said: "Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5:14
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Call my name and save me from the dark
The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. John 10:3
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Frozen inside, without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are my life
Among the dead
In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' Luke 24:5-7
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I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Don't let me die here
Bring, me, to, life
Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 1 Corinthians 15:51-52
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I love it when God reveals Himself through the smallest things in everyday life that are so powerfully tied to scripture!
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9
These hidden gems spur me on to look for more and more ways God makes scripture so evident and relevant, even in this crazy chaotic world.
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